War and Peace
by SAR132-4
Summary: Post chap 4: After nearly being blown up by a grenade, Sam Braddock has lost two years of his life, will he ever regain his memory? Final chapter up!
1. Chapter 1

**Man, I need to stop having Flashpoint dreams, but that's what happens when u are going through FPWS (Flashpoint Withdrawal Syndrome) especially after ONE OF THE **_**BEST**_ **SEASON FINALES I HAVE *EVER* SEEN **_**EVER!**_** –Gives a HUGE hand to Mark Ellis- So, I had another Flashpoint related dream that my mind has warped into an action packed fan fic. =3 Hope you enjoy. **

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"_There was never a good war, or a bad peace."-_Benjamin Franklin

It was a bright and sunny summer day in Toronto, and it was also blisteringly hot, Team One of the SRU was getting ready for a week off, it had been a quiet week, no huge stand offs, only the occasional swatter call.

They got into their uniforms in the locker room.

"Look who's all ready to go and have a few drinks with their buddy." Ed quipped at Sam as he got into the uniform.

Sam's friend from the military, Keith, was in town between tours and had invited Sam for a few beers before he went on another tour.

"Yeah, and look who's excited to go with their teenage son to Disney Land," Sam retorted.

"It's not Disney Land, its _Wonderland_, there's a huge difference," Ed retorted.

"It's still an amusement park," Lou said, laughing.

"There's a new thrill ride, Back Lot Stunt Coaster, it features stuff from _The Italian Job_," Ed tried to defend himself.

"_Italian Job_?!" Spike looked up in surprise and amusement, "Ooh ooh!! EDDY CAN I COME! PLEASE!!?" He pleaded to the general merriment of the guys except Ed.

"Spike, if you come, you're on the kiddy rides," Ed ordered.

Their banter continued as they walked out of the locker rooms and into the briefing room, Jules joined in with the conversation, she was visiting her dad in Medicine Hat the next day.

"Alright everyone," Greg said ending the banter, "it's been a quiet day thus far, so let's just hang out at the station, and work out. In a few hours, we'll all be at home."

Everyone went off to the gym to work out, Spike was still bugging Ed about wanting to go to the amusement park, and Ed was still refusing, vehemently.

Little did they know that their shift was about to awaken with a huge bang.

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Jordan Ramirez and Hank Lowell loaded their M16s in a cargo truck filled with explosives, guns, and heavily armed and armored personnel. The rode with at least 16 other people armed with machine guns, AK-47s and sniper rifles. The truck behind them was similarly filled. They drove along Yonge Street and then turned into the public square, narrowly missing the security barriers placed there, and the terrified bystanders.

Jordan and Hank both were the first ones out, they wore tactical helmets and body armor, their armor piercing bullets cut through the police officer's vests like a hot knife through butter. They covered for their other team mates as they brought out sand bags and made quick forts out of them. The other people in the truck quickly found fortified places with in the square. They shot down anyone they could see.

Hank smiled as he threw a frag grenade into a throng of bystanders, today they would take Toronto, by deadly force.

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"_Team One, gear up, hot call, multiple gunmen firing in Dundas Square, reports of multiple officers and civilians down._" Peter's voice accompanied the alarm.

The team quickly geared up, their adrenaline spiking as they got into the SUVs and sped off.

"Dundas Square, that means a lot of civilian presence," Sam said as they barreled towards the urban battleground.

"Yeah, a lot of gunmen too," Ed said listening to the police reports over the radio, "seems like our subjects are using armor piercing rounds, use maximum caution. No one goes without a ballistic shield."

"Copy," everyone replied over the radio.

"Peter, let's get teams three and five here, try to even out the odds a bit, contact the National Guard, I have a feeling we may need them before the day is out," Greg said over the radio, he didn't want to use military force, but these guys were deadly, and if it went on for too long, many people would die.

They finally arrived near the square, police had ducked behind their cars as the gunmen had fired, though some bullets went completely through the cars and still hit the officers. Rescue personnel couldn't get to the downed officers or civilians with the gunmen firing on them. In short, it was total mayhem, just like the front lines that Sam had spent so long on.

"Sam, Jules see if you can find a sierra shot, Ed, Wordy, let's try to give some cover so that rescue personnel can get to the downed officers and civilians." Greg ordered.

Suddenly, six more SUVs came in and stopped just behind Team One's, Team Three, led by Sergeant Mark Reynolds and Team Five led by Sergeant Max Garret both got out. Greg recognized a very familiar face get out of the car with a sniper rifle.

Mark issued orders to Donna Sabine as she got out of the car, "Donna, Fred, find a sierra shot . . ."

"Copy," everyone said as he finished giving orders.

Mark walked up to Greg, "What have we got?"

"Multiple officers and civilians down, Constables Lane and Wordsworth are both trying to evacuate the civilians." Greg replied.

Suddenly, more gunshots went off, and the two sergeants ducked behind the mobile command unit as bullets whizzed over head.

"Active shooters from behind the sand bags!" Came a voice over the radio.

"Team status!" the three sergeants ordered.

"Officer down! Officer down!!" came a voice of one of the SRU officer's on the radio.

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***GASP* guess ur gonna hafta wait until the next chapter to see who got shot. And if u guys say that you wouldn't mind if it was Donna . . . wow, you're evil. So my dream was kinda like this, except I was in the middle of it all, and Sam and Jules saved me, and then one of the guys threw a grenade, and Sam and Jules both jumped on me to protect my valuable subconscious life. :D. Well given the fact that in Search and Rescue, if a rock falls on the litter, everyone has to lean in to protect the subject with their bodies, I think that it's pretty valiant.**


	2. Chapter 2

**To spare you guys a heart attack, just wanting to say, I'm really sorry that I made you guys wait, I WAS REALLY WANTING TO UPDATE YESTERDAY!! But I got hung up since Mr. C (my friend's nickname for Enrico Colantoni) had a facebook page for Flash Point and I instantly transformed into rabid fan girl mode, especially since David Paektau was on it as well.**

**Keep the reviews a comin' Oh and have I ever told you how much I love Google Earth? Well now I just did :)**

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"_War grows out of the desire of the individual to gain advantage at the expense of his fellow man."_ Napoleon Hill

Amidst the "No harms" called by the other team members, Donna's voice came loud and clear over the radio, "Officer down! Officer down! Fred's been hit!"

She looked at the expanding bloodstain on her partner's leg and she put steady pressure on it.

Fred groaned in pain, "Shit . . . shoulda . . . ducked . . ."

"Don't talk Freddy, stay with me, stay with me," Donna said. He was losing a lot of blood; the bullet probably hit an artery. Donna quickly made a tourniquet out of her belt and tied it tightly around Fred's leg.

"What's your location?" Sergeant Reynolds practically yelled over the radio.

"We're on the northern edge of the square, we're facing Dundas Street."

"Copy," Sergeant Reynolds said, he was about send two of his men over there, but no one was close enough.

Suddenly, Jules's voice crackled over the radio, "Sarge, we're only 10 yards away, I can see them."

"Copy that," Greg said. "Sergeant Reynolds, two of my people are close enough to evacuate Constable Grayson, I'm sending them over."

"Copy,"

"Ed, cover Sam and Jules. Sam, Jules, help Donna," Greg ordered.

"Copy," came Ed's, Jules's and Sam's voices over the radio.

"Alright, you go in on three," Ed ordered. He lifted his SMG and prepared to give Sam and Jules the distraction they needed.

"One . . ." Sam tightened his grip on the ballistic shield.

"Two . . ." Jules got ready to run behind the ballistic shield.

"Three! GO, GO, GO!" Ed called out, he fired on the assailants. They fired back at him, and Ed ducked behind a concrete barrier. ((Yes, I know these are armor piercing rounds, the shooters aren't too far away guys))

Sam and Jules both ran for their lives to Donna and her fallen comrade. The bullets ricocheted off of their ballistic shield as they finally got behind the concrete pillar Donna and Fred were taking cover behind.

They picked up the injured officer and made their way back to behind a concrete wall. The bullets smacked against the wall with audible snaps. Sam was instantly transported back to his days in the Special Forces. He remembered his time with Matt, the two of them were inseparable. On the front lines, they always had each other's backs. Until the day Matt had been shot, by him.

Sam closed his eyes trying to forget the memories that were boiling up, him and Matt being holed up behind a wall while the enemy was firing at them with AK-47s, the picture of them hanging out after that moment smiling and laughing was still hanging in Sam's locker. That was the last picture of Matt and Sam, because the next day, Sam was taking out targets and he shot his friend, the person who had his back through the whole tour and his life was snubbed by the person he trusted to protect it.

"Sam. SAM!" Jules yelled to get his attention.

Sam snapped out of his trance and looked at Jules.

"Let's go," she said helping Donna pick up Fred.

"Right," Sam helped them move thread, bullets were still smacking the cold steel, and Sam had a hard time not thinking of his time in the Special Forces.

They made it to the triage center and set Fred down on a stretcher. Both sergeants ordered them back out onto the field to contain the situation, the SRU was down two members, one person in Team Five had already shot and killed an assailant, the SIU had taken them away.

Sergeant Garret gritted his teeth as his sniper was led away. The SIU were like vultures, and on any given day, it wouldn't have made him so ticked, but here they were in a deadly situation and the SIU were still working to investigate every shooting.

Sam and Jules returned to the field, they stalked past where Fred got shot and hid in a more shadowy section of the square where they'd be protected by camouflage. Little did they know that someone was hiding in the shadows with them, he took out a spherical object from his pocket. He pulled something and rolled it at the two snipers.

Sam felt something nudge his leg; he looked down, "GRENADE!"

He threw himself onto Jules to protect her as a deafening boom happened. All went black . . .

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**Okay, you guys can feel free to take my user pic and Scorpio it as many times as you'd like. I hate me too. Here's another cliff hanger :O oh noes!! I never intended it to turn into a Sam fic, but after seeing the only Sam fics were only if Jules was involved in some way, shape or form . . . well, I just want some drama to occur as well. But wasn't the last chapter a mother of all cliff hangers? lol. Don't answer that.**


	3. Chapter 3

**ACK ACK ACK!!!! SOO MANY PEOPLE HAVE ATTACKED ME WITH REVIEWS! And one was like "you. did. WHAT?" on FB –hides behind ballistic shield again- Alrighty then! Chapter Tres (that's three in Spanish)!!!**

**Okay, btw, I realized it wasn't the National Guard, it was JTFC (I'm American, okay?)**

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"_War does not determine who is right - only who is left."_ -Bertrand Russell

Jules had been aiming her rifle at one of the attackers who was shooting at Ed; she never noticed the grenade, until Sam had shouted, "GRENADE!"

She still didn't believe what was happening, until Sam had slammed into her with enough force to slam the small sniper to the ground. The breath was knocked out of her and she was disoriented. She heard a loud bang, louder than a concussion grenade, and a rush of heat from an unseen explosion.

"Jules! SAM!" she heard dim voices over the terrible ringing in her ear. '_What happened?_' she thought groggily.

She opened her eyes to see a red tint across the ground she was staring at. She felt a huge weight on her back. She propped her self up on one elbow to see Sam's limp form lying across her.

"SAM?! JULES?!" Greg's worried voice came out over the radio again.

"Sam and I are down!" she reported to her commander.

"Jules, watch out, the subject's still there," Ed cautioned through the radio, he wasn't at a good vantage point to get a good shot.

"Copy," Jules said grimacing in pain as she got out from under Sam, her leg hurt like hell. She looked around, her vision was blurry, one of her eyes was blinded by blood, and the other was out of focus from the blast.

She saw a dark form walking towards both of them with a deadly purpose.

"Shit," she muttered, he had a hand gun in his grasp. Jules took out her Glock, pointing it at the man. "DON'T MOVE!" She shouted, despite the throbbing in her chest.

He didn't seem to listen, pointing the gun at her head. Jules squeezed the trigger, _click._

She tried to pull it again. _Click_.

Jules closed her eyes and dropped her gun, '_So this is how it ends, huh?_' she thought suddenly very tired, every breath she took hurt her chest. Every finger she twitched hurt her arms. It was like the movies, her life flashing before her eyes, all the memories of when she was a kid, all the fun times she spent with the team, with Sam.

The gunman saw his quarry give up, he smiled inwardly, he raised the gun up again and pointed it at her head.

_Pok._

A bullet from a Remington 700 pierced the adversary's skull ((he was NOT wearing a helmet)) and he fell. Donna looked up from the rifle scope, the barrel smoking from the fired bullet.

She felt a gloved hand tap her shoulder, she looked back and saw a Joint Task Force officer nod at her, motioning that she should get out. Donna nodded, and the guardsman took her spot.

Greg met with the commander of the force from the Joint Task Force Central. Colonel Brad Farrington.

"We'll take things from here," the colonel said.

"Two of my people are injured in that square, and I need to get them out," Greg said in an uncharacteristically angry voice, "I'm not leaving until they're safe."

"Sir, we'll make that our top priority, but we need you to step aside so we can do our job," the colonel commanded in authoritative voice.

Greg reluctantly relinquished his position and allowed the JTF to take over.

"Alright, we have two injured SRU officers on the north-eastern corner of the square, Team Bravo will evacuate them. Team Alpha you will work along with the SRU to provide them with adequate cover."

"Yes sir," multiple voices called out from the temporary command post they set up.

After Donna shot the gunman, Jules had blinked, '_Am I dead?_' she thought, confused. She was still sitting there, her body basically a massive bruise, Sam lying beside her. She saw the gunman lying on the ground, a pool of blood beside his head.

A small part of her berated her self for giving up so easily, '_C'mon Jules!_' it screamed, '_you coulda at least kicked the guy where it hurts and then some, give him a fight, instead of waiting there to die. Why the hell did you do that?_'

Jules stared at Sam, the reason was lying right beside her. His vest was soaked in blood, it was hard to tell if he was breathing or not. A sudden thought occurred to Jules that made her feel even more stupid. She felt for a pulse, and felt one, very weak, but steady.

Several shapes moved towards the two officers, it was the Joint Task Force.

"Does he have a pulse?" one of the soldiers asked Jules.

"Yeah," she said.

Three soldiers picked up Sam and rushed off several of them holding up ballistic shields to protect them against the bullets.

"Can you walk?" another one asked.

Jules shook her head, she was 100% sure her leg was broken, the soldiers picked her up as well. She shook of the sense of déjà vu that overcame her as she was carried to safety.

Greg watched as his two team mates were loaded into ambulances, Jules was still fully conscious but in extreme pain, Sam was unconscious.

Greg wanted to go with them so badly, but Ed had put a restraining hand on his sergeant's shoulder, he said the words that Greg had said to Sam the day Jules got shot.

"We aren't finished yet," Ed said looking at Greg straight in the eye.

Greg sighed and looked back at the scene before him, he sighed, things weren't over by a long shot.

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**Finally up, minor cliffy here, AT LEAST SAM'S ALIVE GUYS!! Now to work on that stupid essay -sighs- well, enjoy. **

**btw, I'm extremely po-ed at the whole "Flash Point" guy thing, if u have FB's you know what I mean, if you don't well, just skip this rant. **


	4. Chapter 4

**I meant to update a few days ago, but with the unexpected death of a friend, I had to postpone this chapter.**

**Btw, I knew there was some discrepancies regarding the whole hospital situation in "Exit Wounds" and well, this fan fic kinda has a hospital staff member from the show, so I'm just saying that it was St. Michaels. **

**Again, I'm in the US, and I researched as much as I could on martial law and other sorts of stuff that the Canadian Gov't institutes in times of national emergencies and crises, but, you can only learn so much. So no flames for discrepancies peoples (unless it has to do with the show, then fire away), plzkthx.**

**Key:**

'_**Quotations and italicized**_**' = Thoughts**

_**Just plain italicized**_** = Sub-conscious, unconscious state. (Comatose, dreaming. daydreaming, being high [JK] etc.)**

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"_There is nothing that war has ever achieved that we could not better achieve without it."_ Henry Ellis

The gun battle lasted long; the Joint Task Force working with the SRU had an almost unlimited supply of ammunition, but the terrorists had held on to the bitter end. They didn't die because of the gun fire from the task force, rather because of a faulty grenade that exploded in one of the trucks, causing the other explosives to detonate in a deadly chain reaction. The fire ball had taken out nearly all of the remaining adversaries, and only small pockets of resistance remained. They quickly dispersed underneath the cover of darkness.

By the time the whole battle had ended, the city was on lockdown and Greg was exhausted, he had never felt so wiped out in his life. Debrief was tough, Ed had been led away by the SIU for shooting one of the gunmen. The paper work seemed endless, by the time they had finished, it was 9 am.

Sam and Jules were both at Saint Michaels; Jules was in the general ward while Sam was still in ICU.

Greg wearily walked the halls of the hospital with the rest of the team; he met up with Dr. Gordan who worked on both Sam and Jules.

"How are they doing?" Greg asked.

"We took in Constable Callaghan for surgery to remove some shrapnel in her leg and also to set the bone, it should be able to heal up and she'll be able to return to work within months. She also had a few broken ribs, but her eyesight and hearing are only temporarily damaged. She's stable but sedated right now."

"What about Sam?" Ed asked.

"Constable Braddock sustained severe head trauma as a result of the blast, though his tactical helmet did protect his head from the worst of it, he has a severe concussion. There was also some shrapnel that managed to go through his vest and enter his back. We did our best to remove most of these fragments and stop the bleeding. Because of the head trauma though, he's not out of the woods yet. He's in a coma right now."

"Can we see him?" Greg asked.

"One person in the room at a time, I believe a friend is already visiting him."

"Okay," Greg said.

"Alright, if you need me I'll be on my rounds," Dr. Gordan left the team in the ICU in front of Sam's bed. Keith Evans was already in the room, leaning against a wall and staring at his brother in arms laying there.

"Kandahar was supposed to be more dangerous than this buddy," he whispered silently.

In a different section of the hospital, Jules's eyes fluttered open. She looked groggily around the room, her vision had returned, though there was a slightly fuzzy outline around everything, including the nurse who was standing in the corner of the room. Jules immediately recognized the nurse, she had seen her on two separate occasions.

"Trudy?" she asked weakly. She hated it when the effects of anesthesia wore off, it always made her feel vulnerable and weak.

"Really Julianna," Trudy smiled, "we need to stop meeting like this."

Jules let out a small chuckle, and wasn't surprised that it hurt. "Where's Sam?"

"He's in the ICU," Greg walked into the room. "Hey Jules, how are you feeling?" Jules looked at Greg with a critical eye, there were deep, dark bags under his eyes and he looked as if he were about to collapse, and in fact, he did, into a chair right next to Jules's bed.

"Like I nearly got blown up," Jules replied. "How's Sam doing?"

"He's in a coma right now. He has a pretty bad concussion and he had some debris lodged in his back, but he's stable."

"Oh my God," Jules said in shock.

"Jules, Sam's gonna be okay, he has a head harder than Spike's flying tackle. Sam's tough, he'll recover soon enough," Greg reassured Jules, patting her hand gently, "so just rest up so you can get back on the team."

Jules smiled and nodded, "Okay."

"Alright, rest up, I'm gonna go see how Sam's doing," Greg said getting up out of the chair.

Jules nodded, she felt pretty tired actually, Trudy had left to give her and Greg some privacy. Jules sighed and winced, she relaxed in the bed, not a small feat in a hospital. Her eyes slowly slid shut.

*Sam's unconscious state*

_Sam was floating through memories, some good, some bad. He was in Kandahar, with his buddy Matt, they were smiling and laughing together at the base. _

"_Hey, I bet you can't hit that can over there with a rock," Matt said pointing to an empty beer can on the side of the road. _

"_You really want to bet me?" Sam asked picking up a pebble from the ground and tossing it up in the air and catching it. _

"_Yeah, I want to bet you, how about this, if you can't hit that can, I'll trade off cleaning duty with you for a week. If you miss, you'll have to cover for me next week, deal?"_

"_Deal," Sam grinned, he never lost any sort of bet with Matt when it required hitting a target at a distance. He picked up the rock and with the right amount of force, threw it at the beer can. It hit the can with an audible clunk and Sam smiled smugly at Matt._

"_Dang it Sam, you're too good," Matt sighed and threw up his hands. "I should've known better than to risk a bet with you."_

"_Then why do you keep doing it?" _

"_I'm always hoping that for once in your life, you'd miss." Matt said looking down at an expanding blood stain on his chest. He collapsed. _

"_Damn it! MATT!" Sam rushed over to aid his fallen friend, this wasn't supposed to happen. _

_Matt gasped and choked, his eyes getting blurry, Sam suddenly felt himself being jerked backwards, no, not jerked, pushed. Some sort of unseen explosion pushing the soldier feet away, "Matt," Sam whispered once more before his world went white. _

Sam's eyes opened, and then closed against the brightness of the room. '_Am I in heaven?_' he thought to himself. He slowly adjusted his eyes to the drab white room in front of him; he smelled the industrial strength disinfectant and heard the monitors he was hooked up to. It was a hospital he was 100% sure.

Keith was standing there, his expression somber, "Been a while man."

"Keith," Sam said, blinking, "where am I? How long've I been out?"

"You've been unconscious for a day or so. You're in the hospital bud, you didn't realize that?"

"I was just wondering, but this isn't Kandahar. Did they ship me off to a different area?"

"Braddock, you've been discharged from the military since Matt was shot, that was over a year ago."

Sam frowned, he couldn't remember, he couldn't remember anything.

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**Say what?! ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER?! ((Gosh I am so mean to Sam)).**

**Working on mah novel guys :) Trying to break 20 pages by Memorial Day, hopefully it'll be done by the end of the summer.**

**Just some announcements: **

**Rest in Peace Amanda Post, April 24, 1994 – May 17, 2009. A true fighter and a true friend. You will forever remain in my heart, my mind and my words. :'(**

**Also, RIP those who died this week, including an elderly woman who we were searching for last night in Virginia. **

**-sigh- it's been a crappy week, but it has also been pretty informative. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi all! :) what's up? I'm feeling better, geez, hope that nothing tragic will happen this week. I am gonna be training for a 60 mile backpacking trip, and to get a COQ status so I can go on searches. I hiked 3.5 rocky miles yesterday on a trail in Patapsco State Park. It was fun. But I got more ideas for War and Peace, so read, review and enjoy! **

**PS, just a warning, I may take a hiatus from my writing to work on my book and to raise my grade in . . . wow, English =/. Stupid depressed Irish people . . . but hey, I want to hike Pemigawasett Loop in New Hampshire. (just a heads up there, two week hiatus in July for that trip as well as a Yellowstone trip)**

**http:// www . davidalbeck . com/ hiking/ loop_map**** . jpg (remove spaces)**

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"_Even peace may be purchased at too high a price."_ Benjamin Franklin

Greg and the doctor stood outside the hospital room and talked silently in the hall, it was a few minutes after Sam had woken up. Keith had told the doctor about Sam waking up and his apparent memory loss. The doctor came in to assess the memory loss; he came out and motioned to Greg so they could talk in private.

"It appears that Sam is suffering from retroactive amnesia. He seems to not remember anything after an incident involving an IED with his friend, Matt," the doctor said gravely, "that occurred over 2 years ago according to Keith."

"So will his memory come back?" Greg asked worriedly.

"Most people do regain their memory over their lifetime; it'd help if you found articles of his past such as a favorite picture or a lucky set of cards. Also, he will not remember you sergeant. Take it slow. Imagine you are meeting Sam for the first time."

"Alright, so don't stress him out," Greg had a lot of experience with that.

"Yes, so I'd suggest you go up to him one at a time, but not too fast, okay?"

"Alright,"

"So, just let him rest and 'catch up' with his friend before you meet him,"

"Got it,"

"Alright, well, I'll be on my rounds, if anything changes, tell me. We're taking Sam down for a MRI this afternoon," the doctor left to go on his rounds, and Greg went down to the cafeteria where the rest of the team was waiting.

As soon as Greg entered the cafeteria, the team looked up from one of the tables and stood.

"How's Sam?" Wordy asked.

"Is he?" Ed looked at Greg.

"Did he wake up?" Spike asked.

Everyone was asking questions all at once, Greg had a hard time keeping up, "One question at a time," he told everyone holding both his hands up. "Sam's fine, but he lost two years of his memory; he doesn't remember who we are."

The whole team was silent, and then Ed spoke up, "Is the memory coming back?"

"Yeah, but we can only visit him one at a time, take it slow with Sam, work on his time. He hopefully will remember us soon."

"Does Jules know?" Ed asked.

"No, not yet, I'm going to tell her now," Greg said, "but guys, go home and get some rest, you'll do no good to Sam if you're half dead due to sleep deprivation."

Several voices rose in protest about that statement, but in the end, everyone had left, they realized that Sam wouldn't remember them even if they tried visiting.

Greg wearily trudged to the general ward on the 4th floor, he opened Jules's door and walked in.

"Sarge?" Jules was awake.

"Yeah, Jules," Greg said sitting beside her bed again.

"How's Sam?" she asked.

"He's okay, he woke up."

"That's great," Jules smiled, and added, "can't wait until I can see him, are Ed and the other's visiting him right now?"

"Well, Jules, Sam lost his memory, he doesn't remember us, he only remembers his time in the military."

"What?" Jules's voice rose a bit and she winced as her chest throbbed in protest.

"Jules, calm down, it's okay. The doctor says his memory will come back, we just need to take it easy with him and soon enough, he'll remember us."

"Alright," Jules didn't look too sure though.

"Okay, well, I'll visit you in a bit, I'm going to visit Sam," Greg said standing up.

"Sarge, maybe you should get some sleep." Jules knew Greg worried a lot about his team, he usually put them before his own personal safety. When she had gotten shot, Greg spent most of the time by her bedside or haunting the halls while Sam was visiting. It took a week of sleepless nights until Greg finally was forced by Ed to get to his house and go to sleep.

"I'll get some sleep soon, I just need to see if Sam's okay,"

"Boss," Jules said looking at him straight in the eye, her expression was fierce even though she was in the hospital nursing numerous injuries. "Get some sleep, Sam's friend will watch out for him."

Greg sighed, Jules was right, Sam wouldn't remember him, and Keith was a long time friend.

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit," Greg said standing up.

"'Kay," Jules nodded.

*Sam's room*

Sam stared at Keith for a long time, "So you're telling me that I was discharged from the military and I got a job in the Strategic Response Unit?"

"Yeah," Keith said, "that's what happened these last two years."

Sam shook his head, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing, "What happened to Matt?"

"Matt was shot, he died a year ago Sam,"

"What?" Sam's voice was lowered to a slight whisper, "He died?"

Keith wanted to tell Sam that Matt died because of him, say it straight in his face with enough venom to express his anger. But Keith swallowed back the angry accusations and insults that were threatening to escape his mouth and lash out at Sam.

"Yeah, he was shot," Keith said simply and curtly.

Sam looked confused, more about Keith's sudden change of tone than anything else.

"I need to go," Keith said suddenly, he got up and walked to the door, "feel better soon."

Sam looked after Keith; he wondered if asking what happened to Matt was a good idea, apparently it wasn't. He leaned back in the bed he was pretty tired. His eyes slid shut.

_He was back in Kandahar, Matt was sitting with him in the hospital, his arm in a sling. _

"_Tough day, huh?" Matt asked leaning back in the chair._

"_Yeah, pretty bad," Sam said fingering the 2 inch long gash on his forehead. _

"_Good thing that IED malfunctioned, it wouldn't have been good if it actually did explode."_

"_Heh heh, yeah." Sam said wincing as the gesture pulled at the stitches._

"_C'mon bud," Matt got up, "Let's get out of here." _

Sam woke up with a start, he had remembered something.

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**OMG!! SAM REMEMBERED SOMETHING!!! :O :O :O AWESOMELY AWESOME!!! :D well, I felt u deserved SOMETHING good for being such good reviewers and telling me that you might slip into comas if Sam doesn't get his memory back. **

**Now I'm off to attend a Search and Rescue meeting!! :D WOOOHOOO!!! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey all! :) Sooo, yeah. umm, idk what to say, so I'm just gonna start writing. **

**-dances to "Human" by the Killers- , thank you chaviv for making that awesome YouTube vid!!**

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"_Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose."_—Kevin Arnold.

Sam lay in the bed staring up at the ceiling for a long time, '_What was that . . . Was that a memory?_'

He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on the dream, they were in a hospital, okay, so what could have happened that made them go to the hospital . . .

The IED incident.

Sam and Matt had been patrolling an area just outside of the city when a faulty IED exploded propelling both soldiers to the side, Matt had apparently broken an arm.

The doctor came into the room, "Sam?"

Sam opened his eyes, "Yeah?

"We're taking you down to radiology for an MRI, just to see if your brain's not bleeding anymore," the doctor said.

"Alright," Sam said, he was wheeled off to radiology. Getting an MRI was a boring affair at the best. It was downright dreadful to lay on the uncomfortable table when your back closely resembled ground beef.

Luckily, the MRI was fairly short, and he was back in the ICU bed before he knew it.

"Alright," the doctor said with mock enthusiasm, "we'll see if your brain stopped bleeding, and if it did, you'll be able to be transferred to the general ward."

"Okay," Sam said. Not entirely sure if enthusiasm was exactly the right mood to feel when you are still facing the grim prospect of spending a few more weeks in strange surroundings.

The doctor sobered, "I'll look at the results as soon as I can, I'll check up with you in a bit."

Sam didn't answer, he just leaned back in bed and closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on the memory he had regained. He wondered what happened after he and Matt left the hospital, usually they'd hit the bars with a few friends. But this time felt different, he didn't know why.

Sam wasn't sure at what point that he started dreaming, but it must have been half an hour later . . .

_He was following a woman with dark hair down the street, he was wearing a uniform he didn't recall ever wearing in his years of service. _

"_Hey Jules!" He heard himself call out. _

_She turned back towards him. But then she turned around and kept walking. _

_Sam jogged a bit to keep up and walk up beside her. _

"_Hey it wasn't your fault," he said. _

"_Yeah I know," Jules sounded a bit downcast anyway. _

"_So why are you leaving? I've got the truck, take you back," he was trying to be nice._

"_Can you just take it back to HQ? I'm really close to my house, I just want to walk," Jules declined the offer anyway. _

"_Fine I'll drive you home," he said with finality._

"_Sam!" she protested. _

"_What?" _

"_Okay stop! I don't need you to be nice to me right now, I don't need you to rescue me or be the big hero. I just need a minute alone," _

"_You think I feel sorry for you?"_

_She just looked at him. _

"_That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Let's go," he motioned towards the building._

_Jules walked away, she was trying to say something, but Sam talked over her, "Jules I'm driving you home. I promise you don't even have to talk,"_

"_No I just," Jules tried to protest, but Sam pulled her close. _

_He kissed her, a passionate kiss. A kiss that only happened once, maybe twice in a person's lifetime. A kiss Sam remembered with perfect clarity._

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**Omg!! HE REMEMBERED THE KISS!! Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, no Scorpios!! PLEASE!!!!!! :O. Though again, ur prly gaping at ur comp right now, eh? **


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, well, since fan fic keeps me from going insane, I'm gonna start updating, not regularly, but when ever I can gain access to the computer. Sorry, no FB, my sister=mean backstabbing person who happens to have an FB account.**

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"_Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us" Oscar Wilde_

Sam woke up again, with a start, '_What the hell was that?!_' he thought to himself. So, he kissed a girl with shoulder length brown hair. He tried to grasp what that meant. Was he married? Was he dating? What happened to her?

Other inane thoughts also swept into his brain. One was particularly insistent on getting answered first.

'_Is Jules short for Julia?_'

What kind of question was that?! Of all the questions to ponder on when stuck in a hospital, he had to choose the stupid one.

His eyes slid shut again as he waited for the doctor to come back in with the results, it was a deep and dreamless sleep, nothing had come back to him, no memories, no visions, just blank.

He woke up being lightly shaken by the doctor, "Sam, wake up."

"What?" Sam asked groggily.

"The MRI results, the brain's not bleeding anymore, so we're going to take you down to the general ward, you're going to be in a room with a team mate of yours," the doctor said as the nurse unhooked Sam from a number of monitors and tubes. All that was left now was the IV, which Sam hoped that would be taken out as soon as possible.

They wheeled him down to the general ward and Sam caught a glimpse of the name plate in the front of the room.

**205B **_Julianna Callaghan_

As his bed was wheeled right beside Julianna's, he caught a glimpse of her he saw the long brown hair, the eyes that shown with intensity, even if they were belonging to a woman in no better shape than he was.

Sam blurted out, "Jules?!"

"Sam, you remember me?" Jules asked, her eyes brightening, this certainly was a good thing.

"I mean, we kissed . . . but we're on the same team?!" Sam was a bit more than confused by now.

"Oh, you remember that?" Jules didn't know what the more prevalent emotion was; the relief that he remembered such an intimate moment in their relationship, or the sudden worry that Sam might blurt this out in front of the entire team.

"Yeah, I remember, it's the only thing I do, other than being in the hospital with Matt . . ." Sam looked down at his feet, he didn't know why, but an inexplicable feeling of guilt passed over him. It was like he did something bad, and was just waiting for a scolding.

"You'll get your memory back Sam, I know you will," Jules said encouragingly. She only wished that he forget just one thing, the incident at York Plaza, where she nearly shot him.

Sam nodded; feeling suddenly tired after his small and unnoticed spell of emotion. He leaned back into the pillows and his eyes slid shut.

Jules was about to ask Sam about something when she looked over at his peaceful and sleeping face. Jules smiled a bit, leaning back in her pillows and getting some rest as well.

***Sam's Dream***

_Sam watched as a bald cop was led away in a sedan, he looked at the mass of press and police there. He felt as if a hostage incident had happened there, he looked at his civilian clothes._

_He walked forward to the black SUV, it seemed familiar, but Sam wasn't exactly sure. There Jules was, in a gray SRU uniform with the black vest on, she was putting a multitude of weapons away. _

"_Hey," he said. "Saw the whole thing. I'm Sam. Sam Braddock?"_

"_Good for you," Jules answered in a voice that implied that she really didn't care if he was the King of England._

"_You don't see lady snipers too often. That's kind of sexy." Sam continued. Jules looked at him and then looked at the rest of the team that was gathered near, a tall man with slightly messed up brown hair nodded at Jules, and suddenly the whole team was staring. Sam continued to try and play it smooth, "What's that, a Remmy 700? Classic. Hard to top one MOA. I carry a vintage Colt, myself. Pearl grips. Wanna see?" Sam put his hand inside his jacket. _

_Jules turned from detached listener to police officer in less than a tenth of a second "PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM! HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!!"_

_Suddenly an AB conversation (that was mainly A) turned into AB and the rest of the alphabet. _

_All the officers within hearing range, including a majority of the SRU, had their weapons pointed at Sam, who had withdrawn his hand to reveal a picture. _

_Jules looked absolutely flabbergasted. _

_Suddenly, an older African American came up and in an authoritative voice commanded, "Lower your weapons! Lower your weapons. Easy."_

_Jules reluctantly lowered her weapon, but kept it in her grip. She gave him a stare that was mainly of confusion, frustration and adrenaline, and mostly a look that implied what the hell he was doing there. _

_Sam had gone from being smooth to nearly being shot, he tried to make light of the situation, he pointed to the photo, "It's my dad. Pearl grips."_

_The commander had turned to Sam, "Braddock, your instructions were to report to the station," he said in a very annoyed voice. _

"_Sorry sir. I heard it on the radio. I didn't want to miss it." Sam was still fighting against the adrenaline that flooded into his bloodstream, he felt like a child after a scolding. _

_The commander said some orders to the team and then instructed Sam to come with him. _

_Sam tried to crack another small joke, to at least try to blow off the fact that he nearly was killed, by a girl. "Nice post incident reflexes guys," he said as he walked out of the site. _

Sam woke up, confused and surprised, but mostly confused. Didn't he kiss Jules?! Why would she try to kill him?

A small voice inside his head spoke up, '_Because you never put your hand in your jacket in front of an armed cop asshole,_'

Okay, yeah, that was pretty stupid.

Sam looked at Jules, she was fast asleep, her mouth slack and her face relaxed, it was hard to believe such a small person could yell so loud, or be so fierce. He had a hard time believing that someone like her could point a gun at someone twice her size.

Yet she did, she didn't shoot him, but Sam was fairly sure she shot a lot of people in her time as a police officer.

Sam's head hurt as he thought of this, he was supposed to be healing in the hospital, not mulling over the past. But it seemed vitally important that he remember everything he lost. He was frustrated, confused and even more tired as he tried to come to grips with his situation. It was hard to believe that so much of his life had been lost, but now was hurling itself at him with vigor, seeming to slam into him like a train wreck.

If Sam wasn't worried so much about losing his memory, and his chance at recovery, he would have bashed his head against a cement wall in despair. He was contemplating hitting his head against the pillow at least (it was certainly hard enough) when Trudy walked in.

Sam looked at her as she checked on Jules, something faint stirred in his brain, a memory, but Sam was confused, he didn't know her. Or did he?

Trudy caught him staring at her, "Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah," Sam said, "just this memory loss thing, it's confusing." Sam thought that that was going to be his only emotion for the rest of the year.

"I know what its like," she said, "or rather, what it's like when you have to deal with someone with memory loss."

"Really?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, my brother, he lost his memory in an auto accident a few years ago, he didn't even remember our mother. He got most of it back, we were able to fill in the rest of the gaps," Trudy concluded.

"So I will get my memory back?" Sam asked.

"It'll take a while, but I suggest not trying to push it, its okay if you miss a few points, your friends will fill you in,"

Sam nodded and said, "Thanks,"

"No problem," Trudy said as she left.

Suddenly, Greg Parker walked into the room, he looked at Sam, "Hey, Sam," he said cautiously as if he were talking to a subject rather than Sam. Greg hated this, but he knew that Sam didn't remember him, it'd be best if Greg did this without stress.

"My name's Greg, Sergeant Greg Parker. I'm your boss," Greg said as he sat down beside Sam. "You don't remember me," he added.

'_Wow, big surprise,_' a cynical voice sounded in Sam's head.

"From the Strategic Response Unit?" Sam asked cautiously.

"Yeah," Greg remembered that Keith had told Sam all that happened in the past two years.

Sam knew he probably looked like an idiot for this, but he held out the hand the was not connected to an IV, "Nice to meet you,"

Greg shook Sam's hand. Sam finally had met his boss.

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**How was that for a chapter???!!!!!! :) I had to add a bit of Trudy there b/c she was pretty cool in Exit Wounds, and Sam had something faintly stir in his lost memories b/c he of course spent so much time at the hospital when Jules got shot. **

**Go to the poll on my profile and vote, WHAT DO YOU WANT SAM TO REMEMBER NEXT?!??!?!?! If there's something that's not on there, click, "Other" and then PM me telling what YOU want for the memory!!**

**BTW, Sam does not have schizophrenia. It's not like the voice is calling itself Frank and telling Sam to take over the world. It's just another view on his thoughts. Trust me, if I gave him schiz, I'd die in a massive tidal wave of Fan girls. SAR132-4 does not want that. **_**NO WAY.**_

**So I hope you enjoyed it, and once you feel like not gaping in front of the computer, you can click the green button at the bottom of the page that says "**_**Review this Story/Chapter**_**"**

**Toodles! (man I love that word) -waves- **

**Until next time, this is SAR132-4 SIGNING OUT! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay due to popular demand/votes from other peeps, I'm doing a Sam and Jules scene. Thanks for voting everyone! (the poll's still up though just in case you want to add some more ideas!) Someone really needs to move my comp out of the kitchen, I put up a sign that said "Peace and quiet appreciated, but not enforced." and it seems that no one wants to make me appreciate them, only annoy the sh*t out of me . . . Sorry, this is a bit of a tangent (an prly what I'm saying is untrue b/c I feel that I'm a bit too respected in my family, and c'mon, we all want to eat dinner, don't we?) , so here's the chapter!**

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Sam's eyes fluttered open and he smiled, he had a very, very pleasant dream, more memories of him and Jules. He remembered a whole night of them "renovating" a house, and it had first started out like that, until Jules had given both of them two buckets of paint . . .

_**Flashback to dream**_

"_I like this color," he said as he opened the bucket to reveal a light blue._

"_Santorini Sky," Jules smiled as she opened her bucket and poured it into the tray. _

_Sam smiled, he loved the way she said the word, with such a bright and happy tone, her eyes sparkled with happiness of doing renovations, a chore that most people would have looked on with in disgust. The woman beside him, though, had taken on the job single-handedly until she met him. _

"_Sam," Jules flicked paint off the brush and onto him, "earth to Sam!"_

"_Hey!" Sam flicked paint back onto Jules, but she was too quick and covered her face with her hand. The paint got onto her hand instead of her face or hair, like Sam wanted. _

_Soon it was a paint war, but because Jules was so neurotic about covering the floor to keep the paint off, it only splattered a bit on the walls, soon they both were on the floor, and the rest of the night passed like no words could describe . . ._

"Morning Sam," a quiet voice interrupted his pleasurable reverie, Jules sat up in the bed looking over at him, the morning sun from the window behind her colored stray wisps of her chestnut hair golden. Her eyes had the same sparkles as they did in the dream.

"Morning," Sam greeted.

"How was your night?" Oh if only she knew . . . last night's dream felt almost as good as the real thing.

"Good," inwardly Sam slapped himself for his answer, last night was better than good, even if it was in a hospital.

"That's good to hear," Jules smiled.

Sam smiled back as the food cart was brought in by a nurse. Sam groaned inwardly, hospital food, a euphemism for flavored cardboard. This morning it was a yellow substance labeled scrambled eggs. With milk of all things, would it kill the hospital staff to make coffee?

"Ugh," Sam made a look of distaste as he swallowed the "eggs".

"You got the scrambled eggs?" Jules smiled as she looked up from pancakes.

"Yes," Sam said controlling the urge to throw up.

"Just hold your breath and swallow it," she said, "and next time, don't order the eggs."

"It looked like it was edible on the menu . . ." Sam muttered as he held his breath and swallowed the eggs.

Jules laughed as she put more pancake into her mouth, Sam looked at her and felt an odd sense of déjà vu when he saw her chew and swallow. He losing his memory was messing up with his . . . memory.

The sensation of the egg going down his throat felt odd and unpleasant, Sam longed for a steak cooked medium rare with a nice beer, or at the very least a coffee.

Suddenly a man with brown spiky hair and brown eyes walked into the room with confidence. "Glad you two lovebirds are awake," he grinned.

Jules rolled her eyes, "Spike," she acknowledged him.

"Sam, my name's Spike Scarlatti," Spike said extending his hand towards the rookie, "bomb expert, tech nerd and court jester all in one."

Sam grinned, he liked Spike already, "Pleasure to meet you Spike," he shook his hand.

"Hey!" a voice protested outside the door, it was slightly out of breath.

Jules had a better view of the outside, and she saw Ed there.

"Spike, that was not fun!" Ed walked into the room and saw Sam there.

"Hi," Sam said, "let me hazard a guess and say that you're one of my team mates."

"Wow, how'd you guess?" Ed laughed, "Yeah, my name's Ed Lane, team leader and sniper. How ya doin'?"

"Fine I guess," Sam said. Ed was pretty imposing, a guy you would not want to screw around with.

"Eddie's a pretty good team leader! Just celebrated his fifth anniversary as leader," Spike said animatedly, earning a meaningful glance from Ed.

"That's pretty good." Sam agreed.

"Yep," Ed smirked, then he turned to Jules, "well, good news, I talked to the nurse, they're expecting that you can be discharged in about a week."

"That's a relief," Jules smiled.

"Well, I just dropped by to say hello and reacquaint my self with the rookie." Ed said, "I've got to go pick up Clark from music camp."

"But Ed, I don't have a ride!" Spike protested, "And I want to visit my team longer."

"Then get your parents to drive you," Ed retorted. Under his breath he muttered, "I'm not _Wordy_."

"I heard that!" Spike said, glaring at Ed only for a few seconds, but then the team leader's answering stare had left the former rookie looking at the floor and muttering about having to clean his room that day.

"No need to wait for the _Minivan Express_," Wordy and Lou walked in.

"Spike, looks like you need a lift," Lou said smiling.

"You guys are life savers!" Spike said.

Wordy turned to Jules, "Hey Jules, guess what I got you!" His hands had been hidden behind his back, but he brought them out. He was holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Ugh," Jules groaned, "not again. Wordy, you know I hate flowers."

Spike turned to Jules, he took out a sharpie, "Jules, can I sign your cast?! Huh? Huh? Huh??"

Jules smirked; she pulled back the sheets a bit and said, "Knock yourself out."

Spike gaped in surprise and then defeat, the cast was black, and no sharpie would show up.

Lou shook his head sadly, "Here Spike," he tossed Spike a metallic sharpie.

"Lou!" Jules protested.

While Spike was covering Jules's cast in numerous signatures, messages of well being and nice pictures of stick figures doing all sorts of things with bombs, Wordy was meeting Sam.

"I'm Kevin Wordsworth," Wordy said nicely, "you can call me Wordy."

"Nice name, wasn't Wordsworth a poet?" Sam asked.

"Sam reads poetry?" Lou and Spike asked simultaneously.

"I'm sitting here you guys!" Sam said. "No need to talk like I'm not here . . ."

An hour later, the rest of the team had left and left Sam and Jules in peace. Jules was still smiling from the conversation.

"You read poetry?!" she still was surprised.

"I had a rebellious phase in high school," Sam said, "and since my dad hated poetry since most of it was anti-war, I decided to tick him off by reading it."

"Heh," Jules laughed lightly.

"So, I'm surprised we're not high from the sharpie fumes," Sam said, wrinkling his nose at the smell of the marker.

"There's so little left of my beautiful black cast," Jules lamented jokingly.

"Can I sign it?" Sam looked over to the night stand where Spike had left the marker.

"If you can get over here," Jules said only jokingly.

Sam glanced around furtively, the IV was out, and there were no monitors that were impeding him. He slowly got out of bed and leaned a little bit against the nightstand.

"Sam!" Jules whispered sharply, she had meant him getting up as a joke, not to be taken literally.

"I'm signing your cast Jules," Sam said in the same tone he did when he wanted to take her home. He grabbed the marker and slowly made his way over to the leg encased in the plaster. He signed his name and left a small "Get Well Soon" message. Sam smiled up at Jules and got back up and walked back into his bed.

Sam leaned back into the bed, sweaty and weak. Maybe getting up and signing her cast wasn't the smartest thing in the world. He was cold, it seemed colder than what a hospital could seem. He probably screwed up part of his chance of recovery with the whole trying to act all brave and macho thing.

"Sam?" Jules asked.

"Hmm?" Sam asked, looking towards Jules.

"Thanks," she said with a warm smile.

"No problem," Sam answered.

Dr. Gordan walked in, "So Jules, I assume Ed has told you that you can get out in a week?"

"Yeah," Jules answered.

"You," he said to Sam, putting a thermometer in his mouth and checking his vitals, "are probably going to stay with us for a bit longer. Hmm, your temp's a bit high, and your heart rate's a bit fast too." He commented.

"Everything okay doc?" Sam asked.

"It's probably a slight infection, nothing to worry about too much. I'm going to attach a few monitors on you and start an IV of antibiotics on you. You don't have to move from the room or anything," Dr. Gordan answered.

Sam nodded and Dr. Gordan left, and a few minutes later, Trudy and another nurse attached an IV and monitors, the noise was off, so the only thing that could cause any disruption in the quiet room was when an alarm went off.

The day had passed by quickly, Sam felt tired and so he napped often, Jules had gotten a Guns and Ammo magazine from Ed and a crossword book from Greg.

She looked at the empty black screen of the TV. She wasn't big on it, "life's too short for TV" was her favorite motto, but she did wonder idly, '_If everyone says TVs are too bad for your health, than why are they in every hospital room?_' she amused her self by thinking about this for a bit. Then she decided it was a stupid question, like the one "If you're in a car traveling at the speed of light, what happens if you turn your headlights on?"

Jules looked back at Sam in the evening light, he was fast asleep, his heart rate at 102 beats per minute, high for a man in good shape. She wondered what he was dreaming about.

***Sam's Dream***

_The wind was dead calm, and the heat weighed down on him like nothing he had ever felt. His combat gear must have weighed an upwards of fifty pounds, and he lay flat on his stomach holding a military sniper rifle. Keith lay beside him with a compact telescope measuring the degree and angles of the shot. Sam peered through his scope and saw a figure entering the terrorist compound. _

"_You see the guy that just entered?" Sam asked. _

"_Yeah, I had him in my sight; take him out, it looks like a pretty clean shot."_

"_Got it," Sam pulled the trigger and the bullet sailed through the air faster than what the eyes could follow. It slammed into the target and it crumpled to the ground. _

"_Let's do IDs bud, nice job!" Keith said, and they both gave each other high fives and packed up. _

_The hike to the compound on the ravine floor took only half an hour, but Sam had a sinking feeling in his gut. It was if something was wrong. _

'Nothing's wrong with shooting a few Al-Queda guys!_' he thought as he entered the compound. _

"_Looks like we hit the jackpot!" Keith yelled out in joy comparing the face of a dead terrorist and a photo. "This guy was the leader of the group that's been giving us trouble."_

_But Keith's yell of joy seemed far away as Sam saw Matt laying there in the exact place Sam had seen the man entering the compound. The last man who was alive. _

_Sam felt his blood run cold and he collapsed to the ground, "Noooo, nooooo!" he moaned and then shouted. _

"_SAM!" Keith ran over. _

"_Matt," was all Sam could choke out pointing to Matt's lifeless body. Blood leaking out of a bullet wound in the chest, pooling onto the floor below and slowly seeping into the dirt. _

_Both soldiers sat there silently, no words were said. Sam sobbed and tears rained down his cheek, the first time he had cried since he joined the army several years ago. Keith had slumped to the floor shaking his head and mouthing, "No, no way". _

"_Base to Sierra, Base to Sierra!" the radio crackled to life, "Do you copy Sierra?" _

_Keith slowly picked up the radio, "Sierra copies. We've got a soldier down." he said in a strangled voice._

"_SAM?!" the voice raised an octave. _

"_No, Matt, friendly fire," Keith explained in a clipped tone. _

"_We're coming for you," the voice replied. _

_Sam's hands were over his eyes, the tears coming out too fast. His head hurt, the room spun and he felt like he was going to throw up, and finally, he ran out of the compound and spent the half an hour it took for base to send a helicopter to their location, in the bushes vomiting. _

_The world swayed sickeningly and faded away as Sam fainted. _

Sam woke up, his heart rate racing. He was cold, way too cold for the hospital, yet he was sweating profusely. His thoughts were mashed, he felt sick to his stomach.

"Jules," he tried to get her attention, "Jules!"

Jules woke up with a start, Sam was looking at her, and he looked bad.

Jules reached over to call the nurse as Sam leaned over the side of the bed and threw up. The monitors showed his heart rate at 115 beats per minute and they were erratic. Jules had learned to watch a heart monitor from Trudy. And Sam's pulse was too irregular.

Sam looked as Jules called the nurse, and he threw up again, he couldn't believe what was happening, he felt so weak. He leaned back in bed and let his eyes slide shut.

So tired. So weak. Give up. Sam slipped into the abyss of unconsciousness.

Jules watched in horror as Sam began to have a seizure. He jerked uncontrollably, and the monitors went off. Their alarms blaring into the quiet hospital.

"SAM!" Jules screamed in terror.

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**Okay, I am officially evil. **

***suddenly* **

_**Rabid Sam Fangirl: SAMMYKINS! NOOOO!!!! -Turns to me- -starts foaming at mouth- YOU EVIL, EVIL –blankity blank-!!!!!!!! RABID FAN GIRL ARMY! ATTACK! -Sudden force of rabid fangirls descend- **_

**Me: ACK!!! SAM! -Tries to hide behind Sam- **

**Sam: NO WAY! YOU JUST PRACTICALLY KILLED ME!! And for the record, I. Do. Not. Like. Wordsworth!**

**Me: Jules?!**

_**Jules: YOU JUST MADE ME HAVE THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE! -calls up SRU- **_

**Me: Oh Sh*t. TO SINGAPORE I GO!!! -Grows mustache and boards boat to Singapore- **

_Ed: I have a remmy, and I'm watching you type. TYPE FASTER!!!!!!_

**Due to . . . technical difficulties this A/N is discontinued.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own What's Left of Me by Nick Lachey (who married Jessica Simpson) **

**This chapter is guaranteed to have you bawling at the computer screen (in a good way) it changed my perspective on this song. Lyrics are **_Underlined and Italicized_

**Sam's dream state is still **_Italicized_.

**Thank you Michelle (last name will be undisclosed as she is not an FP fan unfortunately) for giving me this song, by singing it in ur wonderfully artistic voice. **

**So here's the chapter!!**

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"_As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape." - John Lancaster Spalding_

"SAM!" Jules shouted as the rookie jerked uncontrollably on the bed. Multiple monitors went off and Dr. Gordan and the rest of the team crowded into the room. They drew the curtains around the room, blocking Jules out, but Trudy went to calm down the sniper.

"Dr. Gordan's a good doctor, he's not going to let Sam die." she said

_Watch my life pass me by_

_In the rear view mirror_

_Sam floated along in a dream, he was in a hell, the emotional turmoil of him killing his friend had been too much and he was floating around in a red haze. _

_Pictures frozen in time_

_Are becoming clearer_

_Images from the past two years started appearing and being hurled at him so fast, he couldn't keep up with most of them. _

_I don't wanna waste another day_

_Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes _

_Yeah. _

_Sam's mind settled on a man, he looked like an older version of Matt and he was yelling at Sam. _

"_Why'd you kill him?! HUH?!!?! WHY?! YOU SON OF A BITCH!" _

_Cause I want you and I feel you _

_Crawling underneath my skin_

_Like a hunger, like a burning_

"We're losing him!" Dr. Gordan shouted out as the nurses tried in vain to keep the man under control. The heart rate monitors were spiking and it was chaotic.

Jules sat there, crying out to her team mate as Trudy tried to keep her calm.

"Someone get her out of here!" Dr. Gordan shouted over the alarms.

_To find the place I've never been_

_Now I'm broken and I'm faded _

_I'm half the man I thought I would be_

_Sam now was in a more pleasant memory with the team, drinking and laughing. Ed abruptly left the table and walked to the men's bathroom, a minute later, Greg followed suit. _

_But you can have what's left of me_

Trudy got Jules into a wheel chair and wheeled a silent and afraid Jules out. She was worried about her team mate.

_I've been darkened inside_

_Little by little_

_Sam's memories faded and he was back in the hazy red, but he heard dialogue. _

"_Do you have the solution?" _

"_Sierra one has the solution," he heard his voice thunder._

"_Scorpio," _

_Nowhere to go _

_I'm going out of my mind_

_In endless circles_

_Sam was now walking with his buddy Keith in Kandahar, Matt was a little bit ahead of them._

_Running from my self _

_Until you gave me a reason _

_For standing still_

_He now was jogging up stairs and opening a door, it opened into a hospital corridor and he felt himself propelled forward by worry. He managed to get to the room where they were keeping her, Jules. _

_And I want you and I feel you_

_Crawling underneath my skin _

_Like a hunger like a burning _

_To find the place I've never been_

"His seizure's lasted longer than 5 minutes! Valium!!! NOW!!" The doctor commanded and a syringe was thrusted into his hand.

_Now I'm broken and I'm faded _

_I'm half the man I thought I would be_

The doctor administered the valium and the seizure was brought to a stop, but the heart beat was still dropping.

_But you can have what's left of me_

"Get the crash cart!" the doctor yelled as the monitor showed a flat line. He began CPR immediately, knowing that bringing up the cart may take too long.

_Fallin' faster barely breathing_

_Sam came awake with a jolt in a white room_

_Give me something to believe in_

_A figure in a white shirt and pants waved, it was his buddy, Matt. _

"_You aren't supposed to be dead yet bud!" Matt said. _

_Tell me it's not all in my head. _

_Sam felt a pressure on his chest, he looked down to see he was still in a hospital gown, not dressed like Matt at all. _

"_Matt, bud, I'm sorry," Sam said. _

"_I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have been there, I thought that maybe, if I took down those Al-Queda guys, I would have been accepted by you and Keith. It was stupid," Matt said silently. _

_Take what's left of this man_

"_I killed you Matt! I killed you, and I'm sorry, I should have noticed you through the scope!" Sam started crying. _

_Matt went over and hugged him, the embrace was neither warm or cold temperature wise, but it was full of several emotions, love, hate, wrath, envy, pride, but it didn't contain fear._

_Make me whole once again_

"_Let's talk a little bit," Matt said pointing to a pathway, as soon as they got onto it, they were beside a river, on one side was a green forest empty and quiet. On the other side was a city, bustling and loud with noise, but it had no sense of hectic-ness like the other cities. _

_Sam longed to go to the city, but Matt held him back with a hand. "In time," was his only reply before talking. _

_Cause I want you _

_And I feel you crawling underneath my skin_

Jules heard the monitor flat line and the doctor screaming for a crash cart. Tears leaked from her eyes as she leaned against Trudy, who was kneeling beside her, for support.

_Like a hunger like a burning_

_To find the place I've never been_

_Now I'm broken and I'm faded_

"Charge to 200!" he yelled out.

A nurse charged the paddles.

"CLEAR!" he shocked Sam, but the monitors still showed no heart beat.

_I'm half the man I thought I would be_

_But you can have all that's left_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_What's left of me._

"_Where am I?" Sam asked. _

"_Well, you're just outside of the Holy City," Matt said, "The river that's right here is called Styx, pretty funny name for a river, huh?"_

"_How'd I get here?" Sam asked._

"_Well, clinically speaking you're dead, spiritually, you're alive and well. See that you aren't wearing a white tee and pants?" _

"_Yeah," Sam answered. _

"_Well, that means that you're not ready to cross over the river yet. Most likely, the Guide will turn you back."_

"_The Guide?" _

"_I'm not sure of how much I'm supposed to tell you bud. But the Guide is the person that decides who goes across the bridge, if you are still wearing the clothes you did when you died, he'll turn you back."_

_I've been dying inside_

_You see_

_They walked up to a guard on the entrance to the bridge. _

"_Your name please?" the guard asked, his head was in a helmet, but Sam could still see the face, it betrayed every emotion but fear. _

"_Sam Braddock," Sam said. _

_The guard flipped through a list. It was pretty long, but he seemed to get through it at superhuman speeds. "Nope, the name's not on here," he said. "You can't cross over yet." _

_I'm going out of my mind_

_Out of my mind_

"Charge to 360!" The doctor screamed for the 5th time.

"Sir," the nurse said, "I think you should stop, he's dead."

"NO HE IS NOT!" the doctor yelled more at himself than the nurse.

He shocked Sam again, the monitors still flat lined.

_I'm just running in circles _

_All the time_

"_You should go back now," Matt said. He hugged Sam once more, and Sam jolted, so many memories now seemed to be entering his head at such a fast rate, he thought it would explode, but it didn't. It felt as if a great hole in his life had been filled up. _

_Will you take what's left? _

_Will you take what's left?_

The doctor thumped his hand on Sam's chest, the monitor spiked a bit.

"Sir, give up, he's dead," the nurse repeated.

Dr. Gordan thumped his fist on Sam's chest once more and the heart rate stuttered and restarted as everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

Dr. Gordan turned to the nurses, "He most likely has an infection, let's do a lab work up on him and hit him with the strongest antibiotics we've got. Oh, and Ms. Gilford?" he turned to the nurse that had told him to give up.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Get Greg Parker on the phone for me, and then you're fired," he grinned as her face paled in shock.

_Will you take what's left?_

_(Oh I'm just running circles in my mind)_

"Jules," Trudy shook Jules awake. She had fallen into an exhausted slumber in the wheelchair. "Jules!"

Jules woke up from her nightmare, and realized it was still happening.

"They brought Sam back," she said, "he's not out of the woods yet, but Dr. Gordan says the prognosis is good.

Jules smiled and for once in that night, she felt hope.

_Will you take what's left?_

_Will you take what's left?_

A few hours later, Sam was in ICU and the team sans Jules had gathered outside his door. Trudy then appeared with Jules in a wheel chair.

_Will you take what's left?_

Greg stepped out of Sam's room as Jules wheeled herself in.

"Hey Sam," she said softly, stroking his cheek.

Sam's eyes fluttered open, "Jules?" he asked with a shadow of his former smile.

"Yeah, that's me," she said.

"How does this seem flipped?" he asked, weakly, "It seems the last time I was here, I was caressing _your_ cheek and saying 'Hey' to _you_."

"Sam," Jules breathed in surprise.

"I remember Jules, I remember all of it," Sam grinned as Jules cried in relief and happiness.

_Will you take what's left of me?_

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**Oh my f*cking gawd. I'm gaping in front of the computer right now too it's a surprise I can even write this note. Just for fun . . . here's me writing an authors note while gaping in front of the computer. **

**GOerhteahfncaperjiaprhjephtmcs;kthohastrigjipaguipahga;gfj;lk **

**Okay, wow, no flames for the spaz up there ^^. **

**Final chapter will be up soon! (FYI, it may be a pretty long authors note, it's my first completed fan fiction that's not a one shot and I have a whole slew of peeps I want to thank.). **

_**Rabid Fangirl: Okay guys she updated, you can stop attacking her now. –Mass wave of fangirls disappear- **_

**Me: THANK YOU!! And thanks Greg, :). **

Sgt. Greg: I should start charging admission for my services to you . . .

_**Jules: Thank you for updating SAR. **_

**Sam: Yeah, and thanks for not killing me :) –sends virtual kiss- **

**Me: hominahominahomina –keels over and dies- **

Sgt. Greg: Hey, is she okay?

**Sam: Oh sh*t –runs away-. **


	10. Epilogue

**Now for the powerful conclusion of War and Peace. But first a word from me, the author. **

**First of all, I warned you, I was going to start rambling. Sorry. But I'll try to split this up. **

**First off the bat, I'd like to thank Ace Bullets for his/her unyielding support in this fan fiction's first few chapters. I don't know what happened to you for the last few, but I hope you update No Solution soon! **

**Also I'd like to thank iheartflashpoint for her support as well, especially when she wanted me to update. **

**Also uniquefreak202 for being "The best SOB there ever was" (and she likes Wordy too, so that's why I but that quote there. It's a good thing) Keep writing uniquefreak!**

**Lastly for part one, I'd like to thank all who reviewed, even if it was a flame, at least you found this fic xD. And even though you feel that I don't know "jack** about weapons" or that I'm a "terrible writer" let me just say assholes like you just make life interesting. **

**So now, the moment that most of you have been waiting for. Final chapter!**

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Spike saw a very familiar grinning face as he got out of the men's locker room.

"SAM!!!" He rushed over to Sam and was very close to tackling him when Ed blocked the overzealous bomb expert.

"Let's not put him back into the hospital again, okay?" Ed grinned. "Welcome back Sam."

Nick Leighton stepped out of the men's locker room as well. But before he could comprehend what was happening, everyone else seemed to be passing him. Jules ran up to Sam and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, hey! PDA!!" Greg said good-naturedly.

"Then look away," Sam advised kissing her back. "I'm not back on the team yet."

"This better not happen every time you visit," Ed warned with a mock serious voice.

"Hey, Jules, give us a chance to get back together with Sam!" Wordy said. Jules let go of Sam and stood off to the side blushing as everyone else gave Sam their signs of greeting. Many of them were light pats on the back, or a noogie, which came from Ed.

"Who's this?" Nick asked.

"Constable Nick Leighton, this is Constable Sam Braddock," Greg introduced them. "He was the man you're filling in for."

"Pleasure to meet you sir," Nick held his hand out for Sam to shake, Sam took his hand.

"Hope you've been fitting in with the team," Sam said.

"I have," Nick replied.

"That's good," Sam said.

"Hey, Nick, could I talk to you for a bit?" Greg ushered the rookie aside.

Ed motioned for Sam to follow him, they got behind the gym walls, and Ed said, "Sam, we're hazing Nick today, you want to join in with the fun?"

"Sure," Sam grinned.

"Alright, we're putting a flour bomb into Nick's locker; it's rigged to be remote detonated. Once he opens the door, someone will press the switch, and boom."

"How'd you make a flour bomb?" Sam wondered.

Spike appeared behind Sam, "Did you lose your memory again?" he asked incredulously.

"No!" Sam said defensively, he knew Spike was the bomb expert, but he made a flour bomb?

"Alright, so, the bomb's rigged, here's the plan, Babycakes is going to 'malfunction' and spray Nick with water, Greg'll tell him to get cleaned up and he'll go to the locker room. That's where you come in Sam. Make up an excuse of needing to make sure no one messed with your locker while you were gone, and then when Nick walks in and opens the locker, press the switch."

"Got it," Sam nodded.

Sam walked into the locker room and to his locker with the remote control, he heard a commotion in the hallway.

"C'mon Babycakes! Don't do this to me! Left! NOT RIGHT!!!" Spike lamented.

"What's going on?" Nick asked.

"Gah, Babycakes is going left instead of right, I think it's the gyros."

Nick was at a loss, he had no clue what gyros were. "Do you need any help?"

"Yeah, could you check her treads? Maybe there's something wrong with them."

"Yeah okay," suddenly, Sam heard the sound of the water cannon going off.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry man!! Babycakes! Why did you do that?!" Spike glared at Babycakes, who stood there impassively.

"Wow, that cannon's pretty powerful," Nick was on the floor, his clothes sopping wet.

"Gah, Babycakes, I swear she's PMSing or something . . ." Spike shook his head sadly.

"Go and change," Ed said, trying in vain to keep a straight face.

"Yeah," Nick said as he wrung out a bit of his shirt. He made his way to the locker room and saw Sam there. "Hey."

"Hey," Sam greeted, opening his locker.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, just making sure Spike didn't put pictures of him and Babycakes in my locker or something." Sam said.

"Yeah, I could see him doing that," Nick opened the door and . . .

Sam pressed the button on the remote, but instead of one flour bomb going off, it was two. One in Nick's locker, and one in Sam's. Jules stepped out of one of the empty lockers with a Chesire cat grin on her face, holding a remote.

"What the heck?!" Nick was blinded by the sudden explosion of white. Sam was pretty startled as well.

Soon the whole team was standing there, Spike was rolling on the floor and Ed had to hold both of his sides. Everyone was laughing, even Sam, who looked like a ghost now.

"Jules, that was priceless," Sam managed to gasp out between fits of laughter.

Jules couldn't answer, she was laughing too hard. Finally, the laughter died down save the few giggles between Lou and Spike.

"Alright, Sam, Nick, clean up. We don't want you guys to go on a hot call with flour in the wrong places." Ed commanded.

"Yes sir," the two constables answered.

The shift ended peacefully, and everyone got out to the bar to celebrate Sam's return. Nick remembered what Sergeant Parker told him, he'd have a place in Team Five, less lethal and entry. He enjoyed the night like the rest of the team.

"Alright," Greg stood up, probably the only person sober enough to talk coherently. "Tonight we're celebrating Sam's return to the team, and Nick's transfer to Team Five. So let's give a toast. To Sam." He raised his diet soda.

"To Sam," the rest of the team raised their beers.

Sam smiled as he sipped the beer, Team One was his family, through thick and thin and through war and peace.

"_Life's ebb and flow is filled with cycles, the cycle of life and death, the cycle of happiness and sorrow, the cycle of forgiveness and bitterness and the cycle of war and peace." – Emily, aka SAR 132-4_

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**STOP GAPING AND READ THE REST OF MY AUTHOR'S NOTE ALREADY!**

**First of all, did you like my quote I put up there?! :) I did (b/c I wrote it silly!).**

**So I'd like to thank all who read this fan fiction, this fan fiction was the first I have ever finished. Because this is my first completed fic, it holds significance to me, probably one of my most favorite fictions I have ever written. To all those out there who are reading this, and they haven't submitted fics to the site, yet they want to, let me ask you this. What are you waiting for?! **

**I know I added a bit of Sam and Jules in this fiction because those two are still very friendly toward each other, even if they broke up. Team One's like a family, and that's what I was trying to capture the most in the story. But it also stuck to the theme of War and Peace, remember Sam's memories, they mainly were staggering between his love with Jules, the team and then his time with Matt and Keith (OC) in Kandahar. **

**This is probably the first time out of school I have finished anything and felt good about it. It has done a lot to my self esteem and my pride as a writer. I hope that in the future, I can finish off more fan fics, and that you, my reviewers and readers, write too. Good luck and good writing. Please review!**

**-SAR132-4**


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